Endless Love…Soulmates come in various shapes
Today marks the anniversary of my friends death. She was one of my personal great love stories of this lifetime. We danced naked in the storm and rain. We went on many adventures. One day I had this weird feeling and I tried to call her, even before school. She didn’t answer but texted back, that she was skipping school today. Trusting my gut, I texted her that I would meet her, I called her again and again until she finally answered. I skipped school immediately and we met up, got drunk together in the park. Laughing and talking and just being together. She put her head in my lap and I sang for her „Smile, though your heart is aching, smile even though it’s breaking…“. Years later she confessed that on that day she wanted to end her life and just because I didn’t let her off the hook, she didn’t.
In 2009 late summer, when we had lost contact, because our life situations just didn’t work together, even though we loved each other very much and our hearts where still communicating, I had this weird feeling again. I thought of her, I tried to call her. I didn’t reach her, she didn’t answer my texts. I felt fear in my heart. Half a year later, on February 22nd, 2010, I received a call from a dear friend of ours. I was surprised, because we rarely talked on the phone. When I picked up and greeted him cheerfully, he replied: „Where are you?“ I answered: „I am at home, why?“ „Can you please sit down.“ And before I even asked back: „What happened?“ I knew what his answer would be. I knew, because for the two years prior I again and again had this awful „dream“ in my head, that I will receive a call one day and someone would tell me that she died. And that is exactly how it happened. Our intuitive gifts are not always comfortable, however if we receive messages we can always be sure that they are designed to help us. In the first case: I listened to my intuition and saved us a couple more years together, on this beautiful planet. The second time, it was just to prepare my heart for these horrible feelings of devastation and sorrow that burst out of me, that covered me, surrounded me, strangled me and eventually, after a couple of years, finally fully left my heart, breaking it open to truly and really understand what LOVE is. I loved her so so much! I wanna say: WE LOVED each other so so much!
Since we met, when she was only 13 years old, looking like a cute little nerd, with her glasses and her woolen vests and check shirts underneath. I was a little older than her. She tried to teach me chess with her Flintstone chessboard - several totally fruitless attempts, that led to nothing but laughter and me telling her endless stories. We founded several detective agencies together, trying to solve the hottest cases on our school. We designed treasure hunts, sneaked into countless places we were not supposed to sneak into. We started drinking together, secretly smoking in the forest behind school, going on adventures, occasionally kissing the same guy, dancing naked in the storm and rain and celebrating the wild within us. Crying together, sharing together, laughing - oh god, LAUGHING SO MUCH - together… Experiencing heartbreak. Arguing together. She told me that she didn’t like how my boyfriend was treating me. A couple of years later, I told her the same thing about her current boyfriend. It wasn’t always easy. We both had our package to deal with, for sure. But how heavy it got between us, whenever we met and looked into each others eyes there was only love and everything else didn’t freakin matter anymore.
I haven’t been so lucky within my romantic partnerships so far in this lifetime, however: GOD HAVE I BEEN LUCKY with friends!!! And she was one of my dearest Soulmates, one of the most intimate relationships I was lucky to experience. Forever grateful, forever connected, forever LOVE. Rest in peace my dear HeartSister. Or maybe, you are already back down here in another body and continuing to share your beautiful Soul with this world. Her Soul was wild and free and this world with all it’s limiting systems and suppressive desires was too painful for her unlimited and liberating Spirit. She did not end her own life, by the way, but I am sure she went because she was done. Writing this at 12:22 German Time on Feb. the 22nd - you would have loved that, wouldn’t you? We were so lucky to have you. Endless Love, my sweet, ENDLESS LOVE…
